Not About Me

 

Not About Me

We, or at least I, have struggled at times to see the events and happenings of our lives as something all about us.  It’s even helpful for me to use “us” rather than me, because there is always safety in numbers, especially when criticism is be allotted.  For the most part, with me anyway, it usually meant that something did not go the way that I preferred.  That could range from my favorite football team losing, to the weather - especially the weather.

One of the many keen observations that I noted in terms of the weather was Sunday evenings.  For most of my working life I had to try to shoehorn a whole week’s worth of pent-up desire for my favorite outdoor activities into whatever little weekend time our calendar allotted (we’ve always had a big calendar that we used to jot down any commitments we had).

Now, when you love the outdoors, and you have limited free time on Saturdays and Sundays, you would think that the weather could at least do its share to accommodate with weekends of perfect weather for whatever the preferred outdoor activity was for the season at hand.  Be assured though, that was seldom the case.  Even in periods of prolonged drought, the likelihood of rain falling on the weekend, when it finally got around to falling that is, was somewhere at, near, or even slightly above 100 percent.

That was bad enough, but the worst part is that the weather has a way of rubbing salt in the wound.  This is accomplished by the predictable fact that, no matter how gray and dismal the weekend is, just at sunset the clouds part in the west like the Red Sea to reveal what the weekend would have been like if it was actually sunny.  Was the magnificence of a spectacular sunset soothing to my cloud-sodden mood?  Hardly ever.  It was easier to utter a little curse under my breath, “Oh sure, now you show your face!”  The grumble almost always turned my focus deeper inward.  “Why does this always happen to me?”

I didn’t usually consider the reality that perhaps millions of other people had the exact same weekend experience as I.  No, indeed.  The sun hid its face all weekend, only to show up very late to the party to ruin my personal plans. 

It took years to soften my observance of Sunday evening sunsets after cloudy weekends.  I could and should say that I have a deeper relationship with God.  I could and should say that I have matured as my hair has thinned.  Rather than get lost in sharing a complete list of causes to my deeper inner peace on this issue, let me say that I have now realized that it is not about me.  I have evidence – photographic proof.  The picture posted with this essay was taken this evening (Sunday), as I grilled some burgers for dinner.  Now that I am retired I don’t have to jam all of my leisure into all too few and quickly fleeting weekend hours.  If, it’s cloudy on Saturday, I can enjoy the sunny Tuesday to follow. 

Oh, the picture proves what I deduced years ago – there is a conspiracy of the sun to hide until everyone is going or has gone home for the weekend.  But since it still happens even in my retirement, I now know for a fact that it is not all about me.  Of course, I don’t know whether that gives you any consolation at all, because what it doesn’t prove is that it isn’t all about you!

His Peace <><

Deacon Dan